I love witty wordplay…
so when I got this as an e-mail, I knew I needed to share…
The Wikipedia definition of paraprosdokian:
“A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentance or phrase
is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.”
Where there’s a will, I want to be in it” is a type of paraprosdokian.
Okay… so now consider a few of these…
1. Don’t argue with an idiot.
He will drag you down and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But it’s still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right; only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with “Good Evening”…
and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagarism.
To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where the bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station…
11. I thought I wanted a career.
Turns out I just wanted a paycheck.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says
‘In case of emergency, notify:’ -Â I put “DOCTOR.”
13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you…
14. Behind every successful man is his woman.
Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
15. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
16. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
17. You don’t need a parachute to skydive.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can’t buy happiness,
but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There’s a fine line between cuddling
and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
20. I used to be decisive. Now I’m not so sure.
21. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
22. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
23. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian
any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
24. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you look forward to the trip.
25. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home
even when you wish they were.
26. When tempted to fight fire with fire,
remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
